Tag Archive: dreams


Big Changes

As I can feel the seasons changing around me many emotions, both good and hard have come up. It has been a full summer of building, working on both my own and other people’s houses. My friend, Rena, had her straw bale raising last weekend, and Amy, another friend and a hammerstone client, has been helping me and my coworker put up her beautiful Shou-sugi-ban siding on her tiny house and prepping her house for an interior trim class which is running this week. Their houses are lookings beautiful! And I am proud to be able to support these women in making their dream homes; to share in their excitement, to commiserate together when things are hard, to witness their processes, and to actually have lent a physical hand in the building of their homes.

But as the seasons begin to change I am feeling a pull to give more time to my own dream home.  After much thought I have decided to take some time off from working for Hammerstone in order to be able to focus more fully on my own house. I am incredibly grateful that I am able to do this with Maria’s blessings (Maria is the owner/operator of Hammerstone). Asking for this time off was, and still is, a bit scary as it means giving up my main source of income for a while and letting go of a certain amount of job security. But both Maria and my own intention is that this will allow me to finish my house sooner and give my full creative energy to it, and then I can return to Hammerstone and my other passions with more to give.

As many of you know, this tiny house journey has worked on me as much as I have worked on it. I do believe that everyone deserves a chance to go for their dreams, but actually asking and allowing myself to receive support for my own dreams is not always easy. And I know I am not the only one who struggles with this. But what I hope to inspire through living this journey, is a world where more individuals feel it is well to take care of themselves, to do what makes them happiest, and live their dreams and passions, as I truly believe that if we each are able to do this we will find that actually all of us benefit, for it is true that we can only love each other as much as we love our selves.

The outpouring of support I have received all throughout this tiny house journey has helped me to believe that indeed I too am worthy of manifesting my dreams. And yet up until now I have chosen to work on the houses of others almost 30 hours a week and work on my own on average probably only 10 hours a week. For a while that felt ok, and even good in the beginning stages of my build.

But recently I have felt like I have less to give to both the projects of others and to my own. This has shown me that it is time to shift the balance and to really be able to pour my heart and soul into my house to bring the birthing of this dream to completion. My tiny house is no longer just an idea. It is a reality, with four walls, a roof, windows, and a door. But there is still so much to be done. And much of it are the things I am the most excited for, including the interior design and finish carpentry, and interior and exterior finishes, where I get to truly express myself artistically. But an artist cannot make her masterpiece if she feels rushed and financially constrained. And so I have decided take the leap of taking a break from hammerstone and doing another fundraising push in hopes that you, like me, can see the value in what I am creating and feel inspired to support it.

My fundraising page is still igg.me/at/tinygogo and there are still perks available, including a weekend getaway in my tiny house when it is done!

Some of the particular artistic flourishes I hope to be able to implement that you could support are a stain glass insert in my octagon window made by Tony Serviente, a local stain glass artist, and a zen like tatami mat room under my loft, as well as a small ofuro style bath in my bathroom. I also am working on a passive way to heat my water with my tiny wood stove in the winter and with the sun in the summer, but to implement this will require some fancy custom carpentry and plumbing work.

The two stain glass designs I am considering for my octagon window

The two stain glass designs I am considering for my octagon window (colors are approximations, as glass is more subtle and dynamic than sketch-up will allow me to do).

All these things take many hours of labor, most of which will be my own labor. But I have decided it is worth my time and energy and it is where my heart is, and so I am taking the plunge to work on this project full time from now until it is done. Will you support me to do this?

If yes, please visit igg.me/at/tinygogo or if you are more comfortable sending a check directly e mail me at miwarobbins@gmail.com and we can arrange that.

In so much gratitude for all that this world offers and the ways in which we are all interconnected.

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Community

My Butterfly Spread. The Bear is East, the Snake is South, and Wolf is West, and the Lizard is North.

As my last full day in New York came to a close my grandmother gave me one last gift; a reading of my choice using the medicine cards. I chose what is called the butterfly spread. It is a spread is used give insight into the path of a project or life.

To begin, I stood facing my grandmother with two feet on the ground. We breathed and centered ourselves and then sent down our energetic tap roots from between our ovaries, going down and down into the depths of the earth. Then we spread roots from our right foot and our left foot, grounding ourselves to the energy of the earth. Then we asked for the energy of the earth to come up and into us, cleansing us. It came up through our feet chakras, swirling around and through our body, then our survival chakra that lies between our ovaries, and the second chakra, the one of emotions that lies right below the navel. Then to our solar plexus, the energy center of our body and our third chakra. From here we sent the energy of the earth up through our heart chakra and out to our fingertips, where our hand chakras, the ones of creativity, lie. Then to our throat chakra, communication, and to the third eye, and then lastly to the seventh chakra that lies at the crown of our head. As the energy came up through our crown and swirled around us we then took a deep breath and ran the energy back into the earth, flushing out any and all good and bad energy in each chakra and leaving us a clean and open slate.

Then again I went down deep into the earth, this time asking what is the question or the task that I will ask the medicine cards about today? All at once there is was. The word Community. How will I manifest community? What will be my role in it? Why is community important? And so I brought the task of creating community to the medicine cards.

The first card I drew was the card for the east- the place of birth and beginnings, the Egg Card. Here is where the nucleus or seed of my project would lie. I sat with the cards in my hand until I knew just which one I wanted. Pulling it forth I saw that it was the Bear Card, the solitary Bear of Introspection. Then the card spoke to me quite powerfully, bringing tears to my eyes as I realized that I, like the bear, felt alone, and was seeking a sense of belonging. And in that desire for belonging is the seed for the manifestation of community.

The second card is for the South, the Larva Card. This card is about early doing, the laying of the groundwork that will allow for the completion of the task. In this card lies the question of whether or not the energy will be great enough to overcome the obstacles that lie ahead. And it seems my cards are speaking a resounding YES. I drew the Snake Card, a card that speaks of being able to transmute all poisons, transforming them into creation.

“Snake medicine people are very rare. There initiation involves experiencing and living through multiple snake bites, which allows them to transmute all poisons, be they mental, physical, spiritual, or emotional. The power of the snake medicine is the power of creation, for it embodies sexuality, psychic energy, alchemy reproduction, and ascension (or immortality).”

Could it be that this is speaking of the experience of losing my first love at age 21 to a tragic death? Despite the words of those who love me wishing I did not have to go through such things, I feel strongly that I would never have had it any other way. And that indeed my experience with Stephen gave me much more then it ever took from me. Perhaps this is because I did indeed experience it, willingly and without resistance, a quality that is strongly embodied in Snake medicine.

But the part of the snake that spoke most powerfully to me was it’s rattle, telling me that in the now, I must be willing to sound the alarm, stir up the pot and make some noise. I must work to make my voice heard, despite my soft-spoken nature if I am to bring this Community to fruition. Perhaps creating this blog is part of me doing just that?

The third card is for the West and is the Cocoon Card. It is the place of the spirit, and speaks of higher purpose and transformation. How will this Community serve the Great Spirit? Here I drew the Wolf Card, the card of the teacher. The wolf is the pathfinder and forerunner of new ideas; the one who returns to the clan to teach and share medicine. And it is an animal with strong familial ties.

It is also an animal strongly connected to the moon, a symbol of psychic energy, and the unconscious that holds the secrets of knowledge and wisdom.  The moon in this card is what spoke to me most strongly, speaking of a community that looked to a broader, larger, cosmic vision and stood as a beacon of light and a model for the world to strive towards.

My forth and last card was the card for the North, the Butterfly Card. This is the card that speaks of the rewards to be gained in this project, and whether or not the Great Spirit has walked hand in hand with this community. Although this card speaks of manifestation and the rewards that may lie at the end of ones path, it is also a place of Spirit, but one must remember that matter follows vision and spirit.

For my North Card I drew the Lizard. Looking at the lizards card made me think of chameleons and the ability to survive in the harshest of deserts. To me this card spoke of a community able to change, adapt, and evolve, thereby surviving even the hardest of times. The lizard is also a creature of dreams and shadows. It is truly an animal of spirit, and a fitting one to tell of a dream come to fruition and evolved into even bigger dreams.

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