In Memory (pencil portrait)

Fall, 2010

Dedicated to Stephen Noble Holland, March 23rd, 1998 – June 14th, 2010

And his mother, father and sister.

This young man taught me how to find my own way. He showed me that I could define and shape my own world, and he pushed me to think carefully about the what kind of world I wanted to be a part of. With him I tasted for the first time the rich beauty of love. He will forever be a part of me and in my heart.

Death.

Something we the living attach grief to.

We wonder what we could have done

What could we have said

To change it.

Prevent it.

But perhaps this world was just not meant for them

Find a long golden red strand of hair

Unexpectedly in our green hoodie

The one both Stephen and I wore

I smile.

He’s watching over.

He is watching from a better place.

And he says he is happy,

Finally

And please, let us live

For never in a million years

Would he want his death to keep us from blossoming

Perhaps that fear

That fear that he would hurt us

Was what kept him with us for as long as he was

So he asks us

Please let go

He is happy and at peace now.

Let us be too

***

May he find a place

Where the light s softer

The earth more forgiving

May he rest easily

And forgive himself

For things I long ago had already forgiven.

May his spirit find a home to rest

Where love flows freely

To and from him

May he rest in peace.

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